Today I have a guest post for you from Amy Brandemuehl. I do not know Amy, but we are both members of a Facebook page called the Farm Wives Support Group. She posted this awhile back and I asked if I could share it with all of you. She wrote it in response to a situation a friend was going through and I think she perfectly described the life of a farm wife. Enjoy! -A Kansas Farm Mom
Farmer's Wife
By Amy Brandemuehl
January 6, 2015
It takes a lot of patience and perseverance to be a farmer/rancher's
wife. It is one of the hardest, loneliest, saddest, rewarding,
fulfilling, satisfying, educating jobs out there, and yes, it is a job,
it is a career, and it is a choice. You choose to be a farmer's wife
when you chose the farmer to be your life mate.
Is it easy? No, but
anything worthwhile rarely is. Is it a 9-5 job 5 days a week? HECK NO!
It is planning your wedding for after planting but before haying
starts, and your anniversary is usually doing one of those two
activities. It is all hours of the day and night in all kinds of
weather. It is freezing temperatures, thawing the water tank when it is
30 below wind chill, and sweltering heat,working cattle through the
chute, breaking you down.
It is rarely having the ability to commit to
some activity in the future as something usually happens to delay or
cause you to miss the activity. It is going to weddings and parties by
yourself during certain times of the year due to fieldwork, calving, or
just break-downs in general.
Vacations are a luxury that some farmers
have to plan a year in advance so that there are no cows to milk, calves
to feed, grain to plant or harvest. And even then hard to get away
because something may happen at the last minute. Holidays like Christmas
happen, but only after chores are done.
Dates are usually few and
far between, and usually consist of a picnic lunch in a tractor out in
some field while cutting or baling hay. Even when the work is all done
and life slows down for the winter, going out seems like more work than
it is worth, due to it being so cold out, and after fighting it all day,
your husband is grateful to be sitting in his chair in a nice warm
house. It is a treat not to have to make one meal once in a while, but
more of a treat to have them in the house on time to sit down as a
family for a home cooked meal.

A farmer's wife holds many jobs in
which she does not draw a salary, she is a chef, preparing foods that
will hold her family over until the next meal, a driver, of anything
with 4 wheels or more, a gopher, go for parts or helping move machinery
from farm to farm, a plumber when laying waterlines for new hydrant or
thawing out a water tank, a cowgirl to ride the pastures on horseback to
check or move the herd, a laborer helping pick up and stack wood for
the winter, and a mud runner when the cattle fall out of the trailer in
town on a warm winter day.

She has to be a peacemaker to smooth some of
the rough edges, some of our farmers have, yet be strong enough to put
her foot down when our farmer thinks he needs to buy that new machinery
when what he has will work a bit longer. She must have the patience to
put up with dinner ready at 6 and not eaten till 9. She has to be self
reliant because when the dishwasher breaks, she better have her computer
handy to find a YouTube video on how to fix it.
Be willing to forgo a
date night in order to save a half frozen calf. Know that she can't be
superwoman and do it all, but also not be afraid to shed some tears when
a calf she has worked hard to keep alive, loses the battle.
She must
multitask taking care of her home, children, chores, finances, and
husband before she finds time for herself.
A farmer's wife rarely
comes first, but that isn't always so bad. To see smiling, healthy
children, healthy livestock, abundant crops, sometimes the farm wife has
to look at the whole picture, not the day to day struggle.
A
farmer's wife is not born that way, it is a learning experience that is
never ending. A woman could be born and raised on a farm and still have
many things to learn. To become a farmer's wife and have rarely
experienced farm life growing up is even harder.
I give a lot of
credit to my mother who was raised in a metropolitan area who met and
married my dad who was both a surgeon and a farmer. This year they will
be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary on the farm where they
raised us six kids to be independent self reliant adults.
Adults that
can drive just about anything with 4 wheels or more, help bring a
newborn animal into the world, and have the ability to effectively
manage finances.
We didn't always have a lot of material items growing
up, but we all knew we were loved and we respected our roots and grew to
be some pretty awesome adults with the tools we need to pass that
wisdom on to our children.
I am proud to be a farmer's wife. My
life is complete. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I won't lie and say
every day is wonderful, but the good days outnumber the bad. I want to
be that woman that my farmer comes home to, that shares in his triumphs
and helps him through his loses.
I may grumble when woken in the dead of
the night to rescue him when he is broken down on the side of the road,
but I would rather be the person who helps him than some stranger that
could do him harm.
Life is what you make of it, if you go into it
with a positive attitude, you are more likely to have a positive
outcome, so if you can't handle the heat, stay out of the fire.
This can also apply to those strong women who farm on their own due to
many different circumstances. They have my utmost respect because they
don't always have someone to share their burdens with.
My husband
and I will be celebrating our 17th wedding anniversary the end of this
May, I have a feeling it will be in a field somewhere, but that is OK, I
am just thankful for every day that I can call myself a farmer's wife.
Another note from KFM: I wonder if all the girls on the Bachelor know what being the wife of a farmer really means. Should we send this to them and see if they are willing to share their house with a half frozen calf?